Epilogue

I thought I was ready to accept things last week. I thought I was already letting go, but after several conversations with him, I back to square 1. Now it's really over. I finally figured that he doesn't love me anymore but doesn't have the guts to say it. I told him the same line and his reply was "Sorry!". Seeing his posts in FB makes me believe that there's another guy. Maybe it's the same guy. But whatever the reason is, the point is that we're over. He ended it.

I would still like to believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe I deserve to learn this the hard way. I have been probably forgetting myself already, or have been loving too much.

For the past hours, I have been carrying this pain in my chest. Something that I think would last for a very long time. God knows how much I love him. But I can't hold on to something that I do not have. All that's left now are memories of what used to be. And the worse part is, I've come to realize how much space he occupied in my heart. Every place I go to reminds me of him. A while ago I was in Cybermall looking for something to eat when I saw Mang Inasal. I remember the day when he had a training in Eastwood and we ate lunch together. I was happy then, though now that I thought of it, maybe he was already in love with someone else at that time.

I find it interesting to know that the simple things you do with someone you love makes a deep cut in your memories. They sculpt you to what you are now. These are insignificant things that you do with your partner, but when you're already on your own, you realize that they have made a deep cut to your heart. Strong memories that bring back intensified emotions. And when you wake up, you'll see nothing but know that it is there because you still feel the pain.

Life must go on. The trick is keep breathing. That's what I'm gonna do. When I'm ready, I'll post my last entry to this blog. A letter to him.